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| Argus Filch Actor Records Porn Movie (Ed. 101)
David Bradley, the actor who portrays Argus Filch in the popular Harry Potter movies, recently took a break from co-starring along Dame Maggie Smith and diversified his acting abilities.
Last week, Bradley was in studio recording the soundtrack for a cartoon porn film. There are no details about this cartoon porn, although rumors say there are Potter references.
Asked about his experience in the studio, Bradley said, “it was mainly just grunts and heavy breathing.” The acting community is very glad that Bradley is only doing the voice for one of
the characters and not baring all for the film.
Also appearing as a voice in the new film, is rumored to be none other than Bonnie Wright. “Well, Dan and Rupert get to star in plays where they’re naked, but I can’t do that yet.
So I figured this was the next best thing.” British Social Services could not be reached for comment.
~Posted by Everett Scott
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| Eleanor Columbus Signs on for Movie Seven, as does Alexander the Toad (Ed. 101)
Following Daniel Radcliffe’s announcement last week that he would sign on to star in the seventh and final Harry Potter movie, “Deathly Hallows,” comes a similar announcement
from Eleanor Columbus. Speaker through her agent and father, Chris Columbus, Eleanor said that she was looking forward to the ‘thrill of starring in the final movie.’
Although Eleanor does not appear in IMDB’s official credits for any of the four movies, she is the only non-British actor allowed to appear in the films, “thanks to my daddy, the director,”
young Eleanor told reporters in 2001.
In a much more anticipated announcement, the toad who has portrayed loveable Neville Longbottom’s toad has also signed on to the final movie. The announcement comes after talks
between Alexander’s agent and Warner Brothers broke down last month over a conflict in schedule and disagreement over how many flies must be present in Alexander’s dressing room each day.
The two were finally able to come to a compromise at 250 flies per day, a significant increase from his salary in “Goblet of Fire.”
Eleanor Columbus’ salary is said to be the same as that from the first film. “Eleanor acts for the love of acting, she’s not in it for the money,” her father told the AP.
“She’s willing to act in anything, including radio commercials, Russian billboards, really, anything out there that will get her noticed…”
~Posted by Everett Scott
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| Rupert Grint to Appear Naked, Too (Ed. 100)
Jealous of the attention co-star Daniel Radcliffe has been receiving, Rupert Grint today announced that he would be appearing in Annie. Robert Rodriguez’ unorthodox East End production of Annie is the first production to feature a naked Annie on stage with Daddy Warbucks. Rupert, playing the part of Annie, said he was quite happy with this. “You know, if Danny can get his rocks off on stage, so can I. Originally, I auditioned for the part of Punjab, but after seeing me naked, Robert thought I made a better Annie.”
Rodriguez commented on the nudity in this odd version of the classic play. “Annie has forever been a favorite of mine, but I’ve always thought it should be more like Hair, and these Harry Potter actors are more than willing to strip down for it.”
Rehearsal for the production is set to begin in June, with opening night tentatively set for July 13th.
Also starring in the production are Raphe Fiennes as Daddy Warbuck and Maggie Smith as Miss Hanigan.
~Posted by Hestia Jones, The Mug Shot |
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